Posts: 3

It's really embarrassing. We have opened a restaurant almost two year now, to boost our profit we have to maintain our social networking sites and email accounts to respond to our valued customers. We recently hired two virtual assistant and ask them to work on the same time frame as us. However, I found something was wrong. I happened to find that my huaband was flirting with one of them last night, and he gave her a raise in salary last week without my opinion. I was worry that my husband may have an affair, and what I also concerned is that the woman didn't do his work according to our contract because our profit didn't increase for more than 3 months. What can I do? He won't admit as I have no evidence. My brother suggested me to install a remote spy or something like employee monitoring software to keep a watchful eye on the virtual assistant. I think it may help because I once used web filter to block unwanted sites and monitor my kids online, but I don't know what to do with my husband. I fear that I will lose him if he find that I want to monitor him.
Any suggestions? Help please.

Posts: 46

Do you have to have proofs for a sincere and open talk with your husband? Would it be enough for such a talk to be based on what you personally saw on your own eyes? Also whether are you actually disturbed by a possibility that you might loose your husband or by the possibility that he was or will not be faithful to you having the flirt or maybe even an affair?

Of course a spy monitor could be offensive. And if you want to keep relationships and to trust your husband whether it would really help if you will have a record of what you know already? It depends on your goals.

Probably most couples start with talking to each other. If I would be you I would tell him what you know and tell him how offensive it was to you, how much it hurts you and that it ruins trust and love. But that's just what I would do, your situations and goals could differ a lot!

Posts: 3

Last night, I asked him who he talked with online, while he lied that he just said "hello“ to a regular customer.
Maybe I do need to have a talk with him and tell him how I feel.
And thanks for your sincere suggestion.

Posts: 3

However, I found something was wrong. I happened to find that my huaband was flirting with one of them last night, and he gave her a raise in salary last week without my opinion. I was worry that my husband may have an affair, and what I also concerned is that the woman didn't do his work according to our contract because our profit didn't increase for more than 3 months. What can I do? He won't admit as I have no evidence. My brother suggested me to install a remote spy or something like employee monitoring software to keep a watchful eye on the virtual assistant. I think it may help because I once used web filter to block unwanted sites and monitor my kids online, but I don't know what to do with my husband. I fear that I will lose him if he find that I want to monitor him.

Probably most couples start with talking to each other. If I would be you I would tell him what you know and tell him how offensive it was to you, how much it hurts you and that it ruins trust and love. But that's just what I would do, your situations and goals could differ a lot!

I talked with my husband, but he still denied. However, he said he will not do anything to hurt me, and he asked me to trust him. Should I trust him as usual?

Posts: 46

It depends on your specific situation. It's a hard question: on the one hand, if you don't feel safe you could watch your husband for some time to make sure he is telling truth. Like to leave a voice recorder being on in the place where he works with the assistants. On the other hand, your husband will feel that you don't trust him and it's not a good feeling for your relationships. Also it depends on whether you are sure about what happened in the past: could you be wrong?